Build your avoidance visibility

Build Your Avoidance Visibility

When you first try to break a habit, it feels really uncomfortable. Especially when the bad habit in question also has some benefits (even if they are short-term). The habit of binging may bring you comfort. It may help numb the negative emotions you are experiencing or help you avoid thinking about stressful or painful situations. So, when you suddenly try to stop, you lose these immediate benefits. You are forced to think about the long-term as your reward: if you don’t binge, you will feel healthier, your mood will increase, and you can work on building stronger connections. But none of these changes are instant. And as humans, we love instant. It is hard to practice a new skill over and over again, in the hope that maybe we get better. But the art of not binging is a skill. And you have to get through the painful practice for the end result of a better life.

However, James Clear acknowledges that sometimes we still need a visible reward to keep us going. He proposes the idea of “avoidance visibility.” Essentially, the idea is that any time you avoid a bad habit, you reward yourself. This way, you start to associate breaking a habit with a positive feeling immediately. He gives the example of saving money. He describes a couple that is trying to reduce how many times they spend on dining out. Each time they eat at home instead, they set aside $50 in a bank account for a “couple’s trip.” This way, they are rewarding themselves for breaking the habit of spending money on eating out. And in the end, they get the grand prize of an incredible trip together (the perfect combination of a short and long-term reward).

So, let’s apply avoidance visibility to binging. There are many ways you could approach this but here is one possibility. First, I want you to brainstorm one item or experience you really want. You might love a specific pair of pants, a new home decoration, or concert tickets. Whatever it is, make a vision board. Make this item like a prize: add fun icons, colors, etc. Make it clear how expensive this prize is so we know what we are working towards.

Now, let’s say that when you binge, you often spend a lot of money on Doordash or the grocery store. The next time you feel the urge to binge, add all of the food items in your cart as usual. But, instead of checking out, write that total down on a piece of paper that is taped to a wall you see every day (ie bathroom mirror). So, you might write “+$25.” Each time you feel the urge but you avoid binging, add to your total. If you end up going through the binge, then subtract however much money the food was. And then finally, when you “save” up enough for your prize, go purchase it!

This approach helps you feel rewarded for avoiding binging and also think long-term. Sometimes all we want is just to be soothed right then and there. But by having a prize we are working towards, we can snap out of that moment and see the bigger picture. By avoiding binging, we have something to look forward to—whether it is a cute outfit, a concert, or a vacation with our best friends.

If this example doesn’t resonate with you, try to come up with a way you can reward yourself with avoidance in a different way. Maybe you keep a tally mark of every time you avoid a binge and when you reach a specific number of avoidances, you take yourself on a spa day. The possibilities are endless.

The goal is that we start to make AVOIDING A BINGE just as appealing as ENGAGING in a binge. It’s these small steps that will get us to a long-term healthy and happy life.