Build your why

Build Your Why

Why do you want to stop binging?

I think in order for any behavior to truly change, we need a why—a mantra we can hold onto when things get hard, when we feel the pull of bad habits. Change requires more than just wanting it; it requires clarity. We all have a list of things we’d change about our lives if we could, but unless there’s a bigger reason driving us, it’s easy to stay stuck.

So today, let’s find your why. Take out a piece of paper and write. Write anything that comes to mind about why you want to stop binging. Don’t worry about making it perfect—just let the words flow. Maybe binging has kept you from fully enjoying your life. Maybe it’s made you withdraw from social events, lose confidence, or feel like you can’t focus on bigger goals. Whatever it is, put it down. There’s no right or wrong answer here, just honesty.

Now, take a moment to read what you wrote. Look for a common thread. What’s the underlying reason behind your desire to change? Try to boil it down to one word or a simple phrase. This is your mantra. Your why. Here are a few examples to help you get started:

• If binging has kept you from connecting with others, maybe your why is connection.

• If it’s taken a toll on your self-esteem, your why could be confidence or self-love.

• If it’s blocking your career or academic goals, maybe your why is success or motivation.

Once you’ve found your mantra, make it visible. Write it everywhere—on sticky notes, your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car, your phone lock screen. Surround yourself with reminders of your why. The more often you see it, the more likely you’ll be to internalize it and act on it when it matters most.

Here’s the thing: motivation fades. It’s exciting to imagine a fresh start, but that initial buzz doesn’t last forever. What will carry you through is your why. Yes, your energy might fluctuate, but the desire for connection, confidence, or success will always be there. It’s bigger than the temporary discomfort of breaking a habit.

The next time you feel the urge to binge—the urge to escape or self-destruct—you’ll see your why. Maybe it’s on your lock screen when you open a food delivery app. Maybe it’s taped to your fridge door or written on your planner. That word, that mantra, will pull you back into reality. When binging feels automatic, like second nature, your why is the thing that slows you down. It reminds you of what truly matters.

I’m not going to lie to you: this won’t be easy. Seeing your mantra in the middle of an urge might feel like a punch to the gut. Cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable. You’ll want to give in. You’ll feel the pull. And maybe, at first, you will. But eventually, you’ll pause. You’ll ask yourself, Why am I doing this? What am I losing by binging? What can I do instead to work toward my why?

This process isn’t perfect, but it’s progress. Your why is your anchor. It’s a reminder of what you’re working toward, even when the journey feels lonely and hard. And yes, it will be hard—but it will also be worth it.

Keep going. Keep trying. And don’t forget your why.

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